See I won’t lie, back in the glorious days of Yahoo messenger, I have told countless ladies (or gentlemen, you never knew on Yahoo Messenger) that I was a secret agent or an assassin on a secret mission and similar fanciful tales, but I was a lowly software engineer with no real estate secrets with me, so I was never summoned by the big guns.But here’s a retired U.S. Army officer in his 60s and with a lot of intel who fell in love with a pretty blonde from Ukraine and poured the content of his heart and dossier out.
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David Franklin Slater, an American retired Army officer turned hopeless romantic, seemingly decided that the best use of his intimate knowledge was from the U.S. Strategic Command was as chat-up lines on a foreign dating website. Because, of course, when you think of wooing someone, classified info about the war in Ukraine is exactly what comes to mind. It’s the thought that counts, right?
This man, a retired U.S. Army lieutenant colonel, thought it was a brilliant idea to share top-secret details about Russia’s Special Operations in Ukraine through the medium of text messages. Because why not? War is a lot like “flirting”. Slater, who is 63, and had the golden ticket to classified briefings, decided to pass on the secrets to someone who “claimed” to be a woman in Ukraine. Because, obviously, when someone says they’re a woman living in the middle of a geopolitical hotspot, there’s absolutely no reason to doubt their intentions or identity. Genius, right?
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So, our protagonist, Mr. Slater, could be facing a 10-year vacation in federal lockup. His alleged crimes are spilling the beans not once, not twice, but on three counts, including a conspiracy to share those oh-so-tantalizing sensitive details and a couple of instances of just not being able to keep a secret. The drama unfolded in Omaha, Nebraska, where the indictment got slapped down on Feb. 21, mysteriously leaving out the name of the damsel in distress.
After hanging up his Army boots in 2020, Slater took on the civilian superhero cape at the Air Force, finding himself in the midst of top-secret whispers at Offutt Air Force Base. His stint in the classified world lasted from August 2021 until April 2022, according to the indictment, during which he presumably decided that sharing is caring, especially when it comes to classified information.
Offutt Air Force Base isn’t just any military installation. It’s the VIP lounge of the U.S. military’s most sensitive info. And who better to navigate this world than Slater, dubbed by his online paramour as her “my secret informant love” and “my secret agent”? It’s like high school all over again, but with national security on the line.
Our femme fatale had a thirst for geopolitical gossip, sent Slater texts that sound like they’re straight out of a soap opera script. “Beloved Dave, do NATO and Biden have a master plan?” and “Will you spill the beans about Putin’s surprise party?” she cooed. And like any infatuated schoolboy, Slater obliged, sending over the juiciest tidbits about Russian military gossip and the comings and goings of U.S. officials to Ukraine.
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Our lovestruck protagonist didn’t just fall for any run-of-the-mill Romeo or Juliet. No, his was a special bond, forged through the clandestine whispers of email and text, with his partner in crime, the unnamed co-conspirator, showing a keen interest in his workday doodles, a.k.a. classified briefings. “Dear, what’s on the special room screens?” and “Got any juicy news from the Operations Center?” were just some of the sweet nothings exchanged, painting a picture of a relationship built on a solid foundation of curiosity and treason.
Who was this lady who broke this man’s heart and destroyed his life? We will never know but we know one woman who destroyed Ukraine forever.
