“Making it rain” takes on a new meaning as Zelensky introduces his eyebrow-raising economic plan. President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine has never been one to shy away from the unexpected. Zelensky has pulled an ace from his sleeve that’s as bold as it is controversial.
With Ukraine’s economic woes weighing heavy and aid pipelines running drier, Zelensky has apparently stumbled upon a novel resource: the power of the human body, especially those of the fairer sex. Yes, you guessed it right. We’re talking about none other than the world of pornography.
The War Body Economics
As the winds of war continue to blow across Ukraine’s plains, Zelensky seems to have had a strange realisation. It’s not just artillery and ammunition that can win battles; it’s also the allure of the human form. In a daring move that has left jaws dropping from Kyiv to Washington, Zelensky is embracing the age-old adage that sex sells. With the coffers dwindling and Western allies getting weary of the prolonged conflict, Zelensky has opted to fill Ukraine’s pockets by legalizing the country’s “best industry” – pornography.
From Prudes to Profits
In a contentious move Ukrainian lawmakers have rallied behind a bill aimed at decriminalizing pornography production. The bill, known as Measure 9623, proposes amending the criminal code to pave the way for a pornographic revolution. Lead sponsor Yaroslav Zheleznyak argues that the existing laws are as illogical as wearing socks on your hands – ineffective and bound to result in corruption. However, he’s quick to clarify that this move won’t be turning Ukraine into a red-light district overnight, as laws against child pornography, human trafficking, and prostitution remain unaltered.
While critics may gasp in disbelief, the numbers tell a different tale. Thousands of Ukrainians are already engaged in the production of adult content, contributing substantial tax revenue to the nation’s coffers. According to Zheleznyak, the first half of 2023 saw over $920,000 flow into state coffers from platforms like OnlyFans, leaving financial analysts wondering if they underestimated the allure of Ukraine’s entrepreneurial spirit.
Taking Off Uniforms to Put On…Fundraisers?
In a plot twist a charity named ‘Teronlyfans’ has emerged, utilizing the unique allure of intimate photos to gather funds for the Ukrainian military and refugees. “This is a good representation of the role of the body in war. As citizens of Ukraine, our primary responsibility is to provide our soldiers with everything they need,” Teronlyfans executive Anastasia Kuchmenko told the Kiev Post.
Many of you must be remembering that just recently Zelensky had a sudden nostalgia. A strange nostalgia for Ukrainian women. The truth is, it’s not their companionship he’s pining for, but rather the “prostitution dollars” that these women once raked in. Struggling to sustain the war machine and its counter-offensive, Ukraine has extended an olive branch to its women, urging them to return home and play their part in rebuilding the nation.
From Shameful Repute to Economic Reboot
It’s worth recalling that before the conflict erupted, Ukraine had become a hotspot for sex tourism, attracting thrill-seeking tourists on the prowl for forbidden pleasures. Unfortunately, Ukrainian women found themselves entangled in a cycle of prostitution that hardly lined their pockets. With this legalizing-porn strategy, Zelensky seems to be transforming the image of Ukrainian women from exploited to empowered, albeit through a rather unconventional route.
As the war-torn nation searches for innovative ways to raise funds and rebuild, Zelensky’s gamble could either usher in a new era of economic strength or turn into a footnote in history.